How Do You See Things? – A Perspective On Seeing Beyond The Apparent
Posted by mike - 05/02/11 at 08:05 pmI had an interesting conversation the other day with a gentleman by the name of John Donaldson. I need to first tell you a little bit about John. We met at the University of North Texas where I am presently serving as Entrepreneur in Residence for Technology in addition to my normal business. John is a student there – but not your typical student. John is a 40+ old ex-Army serviceman who is a married with two kids African American who is trying to continually improve himself and his opportunities and is taking advantage of the Army covering his college expenses as an ex-serviceman (commendable in and of itself I feel for anyone serving our country and willing to risk their life). In addition to being married and a full-time college student at his age he also runs a business called StopSignz.com. I found John to be a most enjoyable and articulate person to speak with, and there is a reason that I included the fact that he is African American because it is pertinent to this story. I’ll get to that more in a moment…..
As we sat talking for nearly an hour we really spent time exploring those experiences in life that led each of us to where we are today. Upon meeting John, I asked him why he signed up to come and have a one-on-one with me for and how could I help him. He simply said he came because he wanted to learn from whatever experiences that have helped me in my career and hopefully find them useful to his own endeavors, present and post-graduation, himself. I instantly liked John because he was, well, a no-BS straight-shooter kind of guy, the kind of person you really enjoy being around – and he smiled and laughed a lot which made my experience with him that much more enjoyable and memorable.
He proceeded to ask me about being a software developer focusing on Relationship Management and the co-invention of ACT! many years ago that created the Contact Management category, and now my efforts in building VIPorbit Software endeavoring to surpass that category with one that me and my team are now calling Mobile Relationship Management. John revealed that he had been at one time an ACT! user before he had served in the Army. And so we got around to talking about how we saw people, and how we valued them, and how given the ubiquity today of mobile devices how it was possible to deal with more people more effectively in truly developing meaningful personal relationships with others via the use of software designed for smart phones and tablets. After talking about that for a bit, John then proceeded to really reveal to me his past, and what lessons he learned that have driven him to this day, and they corresponded with my own views of how I value people.
This is where I will pick up on his being an African American. He said that he was the 9th of 14 children, and that his was the true Sanford and Son story because his Father not only owned a junkyard in south Dallas where he grew up, but that the junkyard was also their home, so his playground, as it was, was the junkyard itself. He, by the way, was the one that made reference to his Sanford and Son-like upbringing having been raised in a poor Black family. As he grew older, and began to think more about his entering the business world and carving his own path towards and in it, he shared a lesson learned from his Dad. Wisdom knows no bounds, and his Dad had plenty of it in a lesson he purposely applied to John as a young man coming of age. One day he took John to the office window and had John look out at, well, the junk. He asked John, “What do you see over there Son?”, to which John replied “copper”. Reflectively, his Dad said “I see bread.” He then proceeded to ask again of John what he saw in another area of the junkyard, to which John replied “tires”. Again, his Dad reflectively said, “I see meat”. What John saw, and what his Dad saw and taught him to see, was different altogether. He taught John to see hidden value, and how that value converted to the means by which the Dad was able to feed and shelter his family and provide a livelihood. He proceeded to tell him that people too needed to be seen differently than what was apparent, and that relationships in the business world had intrinsic value beyond one’s appearance. Despite the Sanford and Son similarity in occupation, this was no comparison at all because it was real, and it was formidable, in shaping a very true and serious attitude in a young man toward learning, seeing clearly, and working toward deriving more value out of something that others didn’t naturally see in others.
When John was done, the tide had turned as to who was really inspiring whom, and I said to John that his story was more meaningful to me than he would ever realize, and I’m definitely a relationship-centric guy and have been my entire career. And, it has always been stories like his that have inspired me to keep improving on how I see them too. And so I simply want to ask you as it relates to your own personal and business relationships - how do you deal with them, and how do you perceive them? What are you doing to not only see, but also to develop, genuine value that provides your livelihood through, and really only through, the quality of the relationships that you have? It starts with how you look through that window and change how you see more than others do, and then what you do about it.
